Jane Eyre - an alternate ending
by Alexia C
Summary: Jane Eyre has found relatives and a fortune, St. John has proposed to her, and things finally seem to go better for her. Until one night, Mr. Rochester finds her and shakes all the world she has built ever since she left Thornfield Hall. What I think could have happened if the fire had never happened, and Edward somehow would have found Jane.
1. Chapter 1 - an unexpected visitor

_Hello - this is my first attempt to write FF in chapters and in different point of views (Jane and Edward's), so far I've always done short stories... I hope you enjoy this one, is how I imagine could have ended Jane Eyre if the fire in Thornfield hadn't happened. Again excuse my english, I tried to do it as clean as possible. Constructive reviews are welcome, let me know if you are interested in more chapters :P_

_*** Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Jane Eyre, everything is work of the wonderful Mrs, Brönte. ****_

**Chapter 1- an unexpected visit.**

Jane POV.

It was hours past dusk, the Moors looked peaceful, the only sounds audible being the fireplace with the woods cracking in the heat of the flames, and the teapot whistling in the back of the room. Everything seemed at ease, calmed. Everything but me.

It took a few minutes before I even realized the teapot was whistling, I was lost in my thoughts, more than usual. Trying to check and grade the simple math homework from my students was turning into an impossible task, I simply couldn't concentrate. I got up to take the kettle away from the fire and fix me a cup of tea and biscuits, my dinner for that day. I was utterly alone, after class was over, nobody else came to see me or visit, which was good given my peculiar mood that day. I wanted to be alone, but at the same time, I felt desperately alone.

That may sound illogical, but not to me. I wanted to be alone, except for the company of one person, one man, whose presence was impossible, and his company forbidden. I took my cup of tea and biscuits to the small table where I was trying to grade the math assignments. I took a sip of my cup, and began drowning in my thoughts again...

I couldn't understand how life had turned out, I was now a rather rich woman with my newly found rich uncle and his will, and better yet: my kinship to Mary, Diane and St. John. Oh St. John... How is it that a tall, fair, good looking and accomplished man asked me to be his wife? Why did he have to do it? We both know he feels nothing for me but sympathy, not the kind of love a man should feel for a woman. That love's owner is Rosamond Olivier, he knows it, I know it, and yet he proposed, just because he feels I would help him in his mission on Earth: being a soldier of God in far away lands. I said no, over and over again... My heart is not his, and his heart is not mine, I didn't think I could marry out of anything but love and passion... Maybe if he had asked before I met Edward I wouldn't have hesitated a minute, but after… Edward marked a "before" and an "after" in my life… Why did I accept his proposal? Am I really that desperate to get away from yesterday's memories? Or was I bored of rejecting him and accepted so he can leave me alone? Or perhaps, I simply felt God's call as well?

As I was sunk deep in regret for accepting his proposal, angst took over my being… I was to marry St. John; I gave him my word just a day ago… I was to sail away to another continent, holding hands with a man I didn't love, and I was to be his wife in every sense of the word, and "eventually love him" and have hopes that he may love me too someday. Then again, what's in England for me? What's left for me? This is exactly what I need to start again fresh, with a clean slate, away from all the pain and shame of the past…

But then reason was crushed by the heart… "Edward… my Edward, I wonder where you are… what are you doing right now.. How terrible must have been for you to find out I was gone the next morning.. how frantic you looked the night we parted! I'm sure you looked for me, for how long? I don't know, if you gave up quickly or you are still looking for me… Maybe he's forgotten me, thinking himself forsaken and abandoned by the woman who professed to love him despite our ranks and stations in life, who accepted to pass life by his side and be his "earthly companion". Maybe anger and bitterness made you go look comfort in the arms of another woman, one who didn't care about his situation, one who could offer him shelter in her body and peace in his mind. Oh God, how I wish I could see him, just one more time… Feel his arms around me, touch his thick hair, caress his cheek, feel the fabric of his coat, smell his perfume, kiss his lips….

With this last thought, a tear stained the paper with little Mary Simmon's math homework, the first one I began checking two hours ago… I involuntarily began sobbing, and dropped my head to the table supported by my arms, and began crying away… the force of my sobs shook me, and I kept crying and began whispering "Edward… oh Edward please come…"

As I said these words, somebody knocked my door. First 3 shy strokes, then 3 loud ones, as if to make sure somebody was home.

"I'm coming" was all I could muster in a broken voice. I got up, wiped my tears, arranged my skirt, pulled my hair and arranged my knot, trying to look as best as possible. My "betrothed" was to come visit me in the night, that must be him, and a crying bride is not a pretty sight for a groom.

I walked to the door, and as I opened it, a dream appeared.

I thought for sure I had lost my mind, that finally dreams and reality had mingled in my mind and now I couldn't discern true things from fiction. Edward Fairfax Rochester stood in my threshold, his mouth half opened as if to say something, his strong chest rising and falling with heavy breathing, his nostrils full, and his black eyes dilated, fixed relentlessly in my own.

Reality or dream? I didn't care, and reason had no space here. My heart once again took over, and before I could realize what I was doing, I was holding his face in my hand and kissing him as hard and best as I could.

For maybe 2 seconds, Mr. Rochester didn't move, he was frozen, his eyes wide open with the surprise of the welcoming I was giving him. By the third second, he didn't care either and he enveloped me in a strong embrace and took my lips in a searing, burning kiss that made my knees almost give up on my own weight.

We continued to kiss right there, in the threshold of my humble little cottage, my hands pulling his head closer to me, disheveling his black hair, while his arms pulled me closer to him, our hearts beating at the same furious pace, our mouths greedily tasting each other, our tongues exploring our mouths in a desperate, fervent manner, our heads moving from one side to another.

Then, a flash of lucidity stroke me, and a voice screamed inside my head "HE IS STILL MARIED!" With that alarm, I violently opened my eyes, gasped and put my hands in his chest, pushing him from me. Again, for a couple of seconds, Edward couldn't react and kept kissing me and caressing my back, then he opened his eyes and broke the kiss, gasping and panting, fixing his eyes in my own, as if his soul was looking at mine.

I stepped apart, and while I was regaining my composure and my senses, I could tell this was no dream, no madness had taken over me. This was the master of Thornfield Hall standing in front of me, nearly a year after I had left him crumbled in a sofa in his house.

For what seemed an eternity, none of us said a word. I felt extremely ashamed of what just happened, ashamed with him and especially with me. I was weak, I couldn't resist seeing him a second… We regained our breath, looked in each other eyes, and remained standing there, like two mesmerized spirits who couldn't break free from a spell.

"Jane…" he said, breaking the silence between us. Oh his voice… How I had missed it! But this wasn't the rough, almost hoarse normal voice of Mr. Rochester, this was the voice of a broken man, soaked with shame and remorse.

"Mr. Rochester" I replied courtly, calling him "Edward" now was out of the question.

Hearing him being called this way made him release a small chuckle, but a sad one, as if he realized nothing had changed since the last time we spoke.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if he thought again of what he was about to say.

"Please come inside, you'll catch a cold if you stand there." was all I could think of saying, after all, Mr. Rochester is still a visitor and is not polite to leave a gentleman standing outside and have a conversation.

He replied with a simple "Thank you", and stepped inside. As I closed the door, I noticed he began to inspect the place from corner to corner, his hands held behind his back. Meanwhile, I walked towards my little table, picked up all the spread sheets of paper with the girl's assignments, pulled a chair and offered it to him. We sat in front of each other. "Would you like some tea and biscuits?" I asked him, and he accepted them, with a shy smile that almost made me jump right back into his arms.

As I placed the cup and some biscuits in his side of the table and sat down in front of him, I could only think how to explain what just happened. It was me who kissed him, he simply responded. My brain was racing, thinking what to say, and ineptly I could only say "I'm sorry for what just happened, I don't know what got in to me, but be sure Sir it won't happen again".

Edward then took my hands in his own, looked into my eyes and said softly "don't do that Jane, don't apologize… what just happened is exactly what must happen every day for the rest of our lives…"

I took my hands away from his, he didn't try to pin them or hold them tight, he let them slip away, but he did smile a sad kind of smile, and sighed as I did so.

"Sir, we had this conversation before, and I think it's very clear that whatever relationship we can have is impossible… I can't be anything to you, not a friend, not an employee, nothing… What we had was beautiful, it was magical, but it's over, you belong to another woman."

As Edward was about to reply, another knock on my door. St. John. He was supposed to come see me tonight. Oh God, what would he think if he find a man in the cottage at this hour of the night, and worse yet, if he realizes this is Mr. Rochester? I gasped as I realized, and Edward moved his head as if he'd try to understand what was happening.

"Mr. Rochester would you be so kind to wait in the schoolroom? Please, is no fitting for the schoolmistress to receive house calls from gentlemen at night."

Edward smiled, gallantly nodded, and left to the schoolroom, to wait whatever kind of meeting I was about to have.

As he hid in the shadows, I picked up Edward's cup and plate (I couldn't leave clues right there to give away my visitor's presence), and went to the door.

I opened, St. John didn't wait for an invitation, he simply stepped in, took of his cloak, hat, hanged them and sat right where Edward had just sat.

"Good evening Jane" he said cheefully, smiling and inviting me to sit too. This was another St. John, not the cold, distant man I knew. He was gleeful, I could almost say he was enchanted to see me. As I sat, he took my hand and kissed my knuckles. This took me by surprise, he had never done that, not ever, not even yesterday when I accepted his marriage proposal. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't take away my hand, for he was my betrothed now, and I couldn't stop thinking that Edward just witnessed that.

I simply smiled, a nervous kind of smile, and took my hand and placed them in my lap, to avoid another demonstration of affection from my future husband.

"How was your day? Let me tell you about mine, I received a letter from Captain James, the merchant, remember I told you and Mary about him? He said he'll be sailing to India in 2 weeks, enough time for us to make all arrangements necessary, marry and then be on our way, isn't it exciting? Do you see God's hand in this? Things couldn't go better!"

I again thought I had never seen him so lively and happy, he displayed a lovely wide smile, showing off his perfectly straight, white teeth, and his eyes had a strange sparkle that made the whole room glow, like two gorgeous sapphires. What a contrast from Edward, who seemed like a tormented ghost.

"Don't you think everything is going a little too fast? I mean, 2 weeks and be off from England for good… aren't things being rushed a little?" I shyly replied.

"Nonsense! I've been waiting for a ship to take me to India for months now, after I met you I've stalled my trip to see if I could convince you to come with me. I can tell you darling, you proved to be the hardest person I've ever had to convince in my life." His beautiful smile wouldn't leave his face, it was beginning to irritate me and at the same time, torture me.

Everything was being heard and seen by Edward, he must have heard St. John call me "darling".

Oh he heard it all right, I confirmed it by a startling sound, a sound that seemed like a punch to one of the planks on the wall by the far corner of the schoolroom. I heard it, and St. John heard it too.

"Did you hear that? Is someone else here?" Whispered he.

"Yes, I heard it. Rats, we have a bad rodent problem here, Miss Olivier generously offered me her gardener that will come next weekend to take care of the problem."

"Hmmmm" said he, and fixed his eyes on me. This simple fact made me nervous, is like I knew he could tell I was lying. I've never been a very good liar, I just couldn't let him discover Edward here, it would be disastrous.

The conversation and the tension to know my ex and current groom to-be were so close-by made my stomach turn into a knot and my spine produce chills that I couldn't control. I passed my hand to my head, and started to feel an anxiety attack coming. Heavy breathing, rapid blinking was telling St. John about my current state of mind and heart.

"Are you all right Jane? You look rather pale.." was his remark.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired… you wouldn't mind if we finished this conversation in the morning? I have a mountain of homework to grade and I hadn't even started" I replied, smiling nervously.

"Hmmm… all right… if you don't feel right, just tell me and I'll fetch the doctor right away… I can't have you fall ill days before our wedding"

_ - Wedding! Again that word! Please stop saying that! -_

I chuckled and nodded. I walked him to the door, and without me realizing, he took my hand and kissed me in the lips. A small, swift, cold peck, but a kiss all the same.

"Good night dear" he said, as he put his hat and cloak on. Then he walked away.

I was terrified to turn around and face Edward. I supported myself on the door, and heard the floor planks creaking under weight. I turned around and there he was, standing, the "tormented" air gone and replaced by sheer fury. His eyes were two balls of fire, his mouth was twisted into something fearful, and his nostrils wide with the heavy and slow breathing he was having, his fist clenched and his chest rising.

A voice, an unrecognizable voice came out of him "Ah. I see how things stand now… I just wish you could have told me you were engaged to somebody before you kissed me like you did".

"I already apologized for my reaction earlier … and what did you expect me to say? Hello Mr. Rochester, I'm engaged!" – was all I could think as a reply.

He sneered at my reply, and came to me again, his eyes never leaving mine. He strode all the way to me and for a second I feared he would run over me, but he stopped one step away.

"I never imagined, that as I was searching for you like a madman, all over England, you had formed new ties and had a new suitor. I didn't think you could forget all we felt, all we lived in less than a year. But I guess it's useless now. At least I found you, you are alive and you seem well, that is good enough consolation for me. But you know what Jane? I'm going to tell you the same thing you told me when you thought I was going to marry Blanche Ingram: You don't love that man, you and I know that, and yet you will marry him. Marrying to someone inferior to you, how does that feel, tell me? And in your own words, that makes me better than you, because my love for you has been constant, never faltered, never weakened, never forgotten. I love you with the same force, the same fire, the same passion and the same tenderness I loved you a year ago, but you… You have chosen to forget that and live a new life in another Continent with a man you don't love. I've experienced your love, felt your passion, and what I just saw had none of that."

Those words of accusation had stabbed me right in the heart, and twisted the knife to leave me stunned. Somehow, I managed to reply, more agitated than I expected:

"What do you want from me Edward, huh?! Do you want me to give up on life, on company and turn my back on a chance for happiness for a man that has already a wife? I believe you keep forgetting over and over again the fact that YOU ARE A MARRIED MAN! It isn't fair to play the victim with me when we both know our love wasn't possible because you were the one with the impediment! If you hadn't had a wife, I would be yours right now, we would live together in whatever place you wanted, we would be happy. But you also seem to forget you deceived me! You lied to me Edward, you let me believe you were a free man, and you almost made me sin! What would have happened to me after the truth would have come out? I would be an outcast, a sinner in the eyes of God and men, you would have gone to jail and I would be a ruined person forever! So don't come to my house and pretend it was I who has betrayed our love, and don't lecture me on what is wrong and right. Yes I'm marrying St. John, he's a good, honest man, he cares for me and I care for him, and I do love him, not in the same way I loved you but saying I don't is not true! And yes, we are going to India to do God's work in a few weeks. There's nothing you can do Edward, even though a part of me will die when I leave England and all our past behind, I must carry on, I simply must."

Edward's eyes filled with tears. I had wounded him, I didn't want that, I never wanted that. I simply wanted to let him know it was him who had done harm, not me, I was trying to rebuild my life. With a swift movement, he grabbed my arms with his strong hands, almost hurting me.

"You say you love him, do you Jane? Do you love him?" he whispered.

"Stop" – I replied

"Tell me again you love him, and I will walk away and leave you be. Tell me Jane, do you love that man?"

"Sir you are hurting me"

-"TELL ME! DO YOU LOVE HIM OR NOT?!"

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF I LOVE HIM OR NOT? What good has love done me in the past? I loved you, with all my heart, with all my soul, and look how wretched that made me, made us both!"

"You don't love him! I knew it! Maybe you love him as a friend, as a brother, but not at as man, not the way_ you love me_!"

With this, the last step that kept us apart evaporated, his lips took mine like a magnet, an incredible force drawing us together. I was hopeless. He pulled me closer and kissed me with all the passion he had, I was lost in a swirl of confusion. I loved Edward, I still did, with the same intensity, the same ferocity, it hadn't lost none of its beauty and shine. I knew that before he knocked on my door tonight, this was just a confirmation of what I already knew.

But I couldn't be his, I just couldn't. With all my mental and physical strength, I stepped apart and broke the kiss.

"Edward please… Stop hurting me and hurting yourself. I can't be yours while you are already somebody else's, even if you constantly choose to overlook that, or if you refuse to call that poor woman "wife". She is your wife, your companion for this life, unlike you, I do believe in the words "_until death do us part"_. It's better if you leave, please… don't hurt me further, if the love you claim to feel for me is real and pure, please, let me be."

Edward smiled and lowered his head, I could tell he felt defeated. He reached for his inner coat's pocket, and drew out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to me.

"Here. This is why I came all the way here. Read it, when you feel like doing so. I will leave now. It's too late to ride back to Thornfield, so I'm staying in the town's Inn until tomorrow noon. Go look for me Jane if you still want me in your life, if you don't, I will depart and I promise you, this is the the last sight of me you'll ever have."

His voice was again low, sad and pounded. It took all my will not to grab his face and kiss him again, to see my beloved so battered was killing me.

With these last words, Edward Fairfax Rochester walked to the door and shut it behind me. He left my house, and I presumed, my life.

I couldn't help to begin crying again, loud and hard. I ran to my bed and threw myself there, kept crying and crying.

Why was life so cruel? Why would it show me what true love was like, only to snatch it from me? To let me taste de sweet wine of passion and true affection, and then never let me have a sip again? Why is it that at any stage of my life I could never find happiness? Orphan at a very young age, forsaken from my blood family, sent to an orphanage where cruelty was the day-to-day lesson to learn, I lost the only friend in the world I had, then found a man I thought was good but in reality our union was completely forbidden. Now that I had finally found some peace, some relatives, and a man I could learn to love in time, Edward walks into my life again like a hurricane, and leaves a huge trail of destruction behind.

All these events had tired me, and before I knew it, I was fast asleep in my cold, lonely bed, thinking of the man who had stolen my heart and never returned it.


	2. Chapter 2 - Edward's soliloquy

**_Hello - Thank you all for reading this story, and thank you for the kind reviews :) I will try to not disappoint with the rest of the story, I hope _****_you enjoy it! :)_**

- Edward POV

As the door closed behind me, my brain became dumb and my limbs numb. After nearly a year of looking from village to village, from town to town, from interviewing hundreds of people, spending a fortune in private investigators and sending hundreds of letters to hundred of different people, I had found Jane, finally. Only, our encounter didn't happen quite as I imagined or expected, starting from her surprising and beautiful welcome, to the heartbreaking news of her engagement.

I regained my consciousness, and I heard behind that door what I thought was a whimper. Jane was crying. I involuntarily raised my hand in a fist and nearly knocked the door, I was ready to even knock it down, but I figured if I do so, she would be embarrassed of me seeing her in that state, that she'd rather be alone tonight to fully absorb what happened.

I turned around, and began walking to the Inn, covered by a dark, almost black sky, with small stars that crowned a night that would have been glorious if circumstances would have been different.

I wished I had ridden Mesrour to come and see Jane, that way I could return to the Inn faster instead of walking all the way there in this darkness, with solitude as my companion and my brain on fire. What just happened? My brain kept trying to comprehend and make sense of what occurred, but I was still in shock, and couldn't form a coherent thought, all my ideas dissipated with Jane's image in my head, or they were shattered remembering how she's now about to marry another man. Finally, the fresh air of the night had somewhat calmed my temporary insanity and began connecting and forming understandable thoughts.

Everything happened so fast… and so strange, and painful.. Starting from Jane's strange greeting… I must say, I was ready to receive a strike, a slap… God even a slap would be heaven, to feel her small hand touch me, even if it is with the intention of hurting and rejecting me… but that kiss, I was certainly not ready for that…

I smiled widely remembering Jane's hot lips upon mine, how her tiny hands held me steady, how her mouth opened and invited me to open mine as well, in an awkward way, but with a passion that nearly set me aflame. It took me a couple of seconds to digest the situation and fully understand what was happening. Oh to hold her again! To feel her in my arms again, to taste her lips again… I wish that kiss would have lasted forever.. My Jane, my love, my life…

What ever drove her to greet me like that? I don't know, but I thank with all my heart it happened. But oddly enough, it disarmed me; it left me helpless, defenseless like a child in a multitude. I had thought of all the possibilities of encounter: violence, insults, rejection, indifference was all a possibility, but the kiss? She sure knows how to stun me, how to master me… my mysterious sorceress, my wicked elf, my darling…

As I began daydreaming, I realized I was very close by the Inn. Somehow, the walk to Jane's cottage seemed a lot longer than the return, maybe being nervous and anxious had something to do with it. Now, I felt happy, I had seen Jane, but at the same time, I felt frightened, after all, that may have been the last time I ever see her. She's engaged to another man, and she was adamant in her decision of moving on, forgetting me, forgetting _us_… A life away from me. No, no!

I went to the stable to check on Mesrour, if the owner had followed my instructions and fed him. I saw him at ease, not giving signs of hunger or thirst. I patted my old friend in his back, and walked back to the Inn.

-"Ah Mr. Rochester, did you find Miss Elliot?"- Said the owner when I stepped in.

_"__It__'__s not Elliot, it__'__s Eyre, and she will be Rochester very soon__"_was my inner voice speaking, but I replied as civilised as I could

- "Yes thank you… I will not have any supper, just please send me a glass of water to my room".

-"Certainly sir" replied the man. Being a generous client and master had its charms; people were usually kind to me because of that. Everybody had always been amiable with me for my last name, even women had been more than friendly just because they wanted to put their hands on my money. Except Jane, she didn't care for my rank or station, she loved me just the way I was.

I reached to my room, and removed my boots and my coat, pulled my shirt out of my trousers, walked to the bed and sat there. The joy of seeing Jane again seemed to overshadow the fact that she now wasn't a free woman to love. I remembered instantly how that man had dared to kiss her hand, and then steal a kiss from her beautiful mouth.

My teeth clenched with hatred and jealousy. I was the only man allowed to touch her, kiss her, nobody else! In a fit of rage, I slammed the night table, the candlelight fell to the floor. I panicked and quickly stepped on the small flame before it began lighting up the entire place.

I chuckled, and thought it would be ironic to set a fire with a candle, just like Bertha did when she tried to murder me in my bed, when my angel Janet came to save me.

_"__My darling__"__._ He dared to call her _"__My darling__"__._ I should have stepped right in and wipe that stupid smile out of his face with my fist! I was breathing heavy now, and a train of violent thoughts crossed my head, I didn't know that man, but I hated him with all my strength.

I calmed myself down, and a flash of anger stroke me, only this time it was directed to the person I loved the most in this world. How could Jane do this to me? How could she accept a marriage proposal from another man, when she had accepted mine a little less than a year ago? Was I really that easy to forget? Not a single day went by without me thinking of her, in fact, not a single hour, not even a single minute! Thinking of all the perilous situation she might have lived or be living, robbed, disrespected, abused, even murdered, all these horrific possibilities were a constant agony in me, I never thought that as I was scouting heaven and hell, looking for her, she was already making new acquaintances and even meeting potential beaus!

But then, I tried to place myself in her situation, and a different mood overcame… Disappointment took over me, it was a bitter drink to swallow because I knew reason was on Jane's side.

What right have I over her? She's right, I lied to her, I presented myself in a different light than the one I really lived in. I tried to make her my mistress; to say otherwise is a lie. Of course that was not my intention, I intended to take her as my legal wife, to honor, respect and adore her for the rest of my life. But in reality, our union was forbidden. I can see that now, and she's also right that if we would have "married", and the truth would have come out, she would be a ruined woman, exiled from respected society, with innocence and a good reputation stolen from her forever. She would be seen by everybody as a harlot, a woman of low morals who didn't care to share her bed with a married man, and in the best of cases, a foolish child who had fallen in a snare set by a trickster.

I love and respect Jane more for understanding that then, when madness was threatening to take me. … Jane was right when she told me I can't simply walk back into her life and expect her to receive me with arms wide open, not after what I put her through… But then again, things have changed, I have changed… I wonder if she'll come look for me, if she'll read the paper…

The thought of her throwing the paper into the fireplace made me gasp with terror, and in a reaction, almost like a reflex, made me stand up as if my body was a spring. I began pacing around the room like a madman, back and forth, back and forth…

-"Damn me! Why didn't I simply tell her about the content of the paper? What if she doesn't read it? That is the only thing in the world that could convince her to come back to me is discarded, and she never finds out?" I didn't realise I actually began to speak out loud, a soliloquy of anger and frustration.

Reason spoke to me: "she was altered… telling her about the paper would have been like shoving a pill down her throat. She will read it, she will, be calm… She loves you…"

With the word "love", I coudn't help to think of her young betrothed. Young, tall, fair skin, blue eyes, athletic build, and perfect smile… And then I thought of myself… 20 years older, shorter, broad-shouldered, dark and rowdy hair, black eyes, thin lips, square forehead…

-"Whatever Jane saw in my is beyond my understanding… I am ill-tempered, sarcastic, all my past has made me somehow bitter and lonely… He seemed lively, enthusiastic, charming… What if she really is falling in love with him? If my love is not strong enough to defeat whatever feeling this man has awakened in her? What if she sees our age difference too much? What if everything that happened between us has created an abyss impossible to pass? What if she secretly began to hate me for trying to trick her into a fraudulent marriage? Or what if she simply wants to go to India with him? He's a good-looking man, I'm a middle-aged man with a bad character and a tendency to deceive those who I love."

I stopped abruptly my pacing, and stared at the fire in the hearth. My last thought really shook my foundations. Jane marrying somebody else. Jane sharing her life, her love, her body and her passion with somebody other than me! Somebody waking every morning with her by his side, the first sight in the morning her beautiful, angelical face, and the first smell of the morning her sweet, delicate lilac cologne... Somebody taking her, teaching her the rapture and pleasure of the love between man and wife. This was driving me insane, and I began putting my boots on, I had to go back there and tell her that if she leaves me again, I will die.

As I was putting on my second booth, a knock on my door. I froze. Could it be her?

I passed my hands through my disheveled hair, cleared my throat, put my shirt back inside my trousers, and even though I was walking with only one booth on, I figured I looked decent enough to receive my fairy in my arms again. I walked to the door, my palms sweated, I could hear my heartbeat smashing against my frame. As I opened the door, a ridiculous smile drew on my face, I expected to see her small figure in front of me, but no trace of that.

-"Here's your glass of water Sir" was all I received from a young boy who evidently was a horse groom, his smell and looks gave that away.

"Thank you" I replied very brusque, and practically snatched the glass of water from his bony, cold hands, and slammed the door behind me.

I smiled sardonically, of course… what an idiot… As if Jane would run to me in the middle of the night…

I drank the content of the glass, and when I finished I wished I had asked a glass of brandy instead of the dull liquid I just had. I left the empty glass in the night table, then resumed my train of thoughts.

-"Jane loves me, I know that. She wouldn't have kissed me the way she did, she wouldn't have been nervous around that man called St. John. Hating me I believe is not really an option, she would have been cold and distant, probably even cruel, I received none of that from her tonight, quite the contrary... She received me with a kiss, _she kissed me._"

I remembered her kiss, and it made my stomach flutter. I knew Jane was a passionate woman, under that shell of the shy, prudish governess, I knew a volcano of emotions was brewing unceasingly, repressed by years of puritan education, like the mythical Phoenix, with her fire wings tied in a chain, she was eager to fly away, but couldn't because all her childhood and education in Lowood had set the chains tight and didn't know how to break free. Only in very rare occasions that chain would break and her beautiful wings would spread, I had seen glances of her fire, I had witnessed it, and tonight in particular… she was incredibly beautiful when she was released of all the stupid oppression she learned to obey in her life… But then, the chains would trap her again and my firebird would be prisoner again under her suppressed behavior . How I wanted to break that chain, to set her free, to let her be herself with me, never to have her passion under check for fear of rejection and judgement. We would both be free together my Jane, only _together_…

Her kiss awakened my deep longing for my fairy, ever since I began to fall hopelessly in love with her… How I wish I could have taken her right there, to make her mine… To take her to her small lonely bed and together light the flames of passion, no restrains, no holding back, just the two of us, loving each other, me touching and knowing every inch of her body, her enjoying every caress my hands could profess, showing her with every touch how much I adore her.

I smiled at this thought as the blood in my veins began racing faster, and especially filling parts of my body that I certainly didn't need in this lonely night. I tried to calm myself down, rubbed my face with both hands and returned to sit in the bed.

I began undressing, but the image of Jane wouldn't leave my head. Jane in that thin white nightgown, just like the night she saved my life. My angel, my love…

My mind went back to what happened tonight… Her kiss, the visit of her future husband, our reprimands, me accusing her of forgetting me and marrying somebody not for love but for spiritual convenience, and her accusing me of being a deceiver; and the paper I handed her… What if she doesn't come? I told her I'd wait until noon, it is long enough time for her to read the content of the paper. Should I wait longer? Should I go back to her?

I decided I should not. Jane would have to come to me on her own free will, nobody putting pressure on her decision, not even me. She would know how to act once she's read the damn thing. If she loves me and still wishes to build a life with me, she'll come. If she has not forgiven me and has chosen to start a fresh, new life with that young man, then nothing I could do or say would change her mind. But somehow, I was sure of her love, I was sure she still loved me, that she will look for me tomorrow.

With this final thought, I laid in bed, still clothed, and tried to sleep. I believed tonight, out of all nights, would be impossible to visit dreamland, but the idea of Jane being by my side, of our kiss earlier had somewhat acted like a delicious sedative. Tomorrow I will wake up with the first light of dawn, get ready and wait for my beloved in the porch, that way I can spot her when she walks in and run to her encounter, embrace her and never, ever, let her go from my life again.

As I thought this, a smile drew on my face, and I fell asleep, eager for the next day to begin.


	3. Chapter 3 - One more impediment

**Hello again! Sorry for taking long updating this, many things happening in my life right now and I hadn't had the time to do so. Thanks for all the wonderful comments, I'm very happy you are enjoying this story. Please feel free to comment, review or whatever anytime, thanks again for reading!**

**JPOV**

The next morning, I woke up around 11am. I've never been a heavy sleeper, and I could not believe how late it was. His last words _"go look for me Jane" _kept ringing in my ear, but I kept choosing to ignore them. Look for him for what? To hurt us both further? It is better to let him go, I'm going to India soon anyway.

As I walked to the small bathroom to wash my face and arrange my hair, I took some pins and placed them in my pocket, and felt the letter Edward had given me. I forgot I put it in my pocket and never really read it. It must be a letter like those I have written before and tore them apart, like the thousands letters where I've poured out my heart, but never had the courage to deliver them.

After arranging my hair, I went to my kitchen table to read the letter. I unfolded the piece of paper, but this was no letter. Oh no. It was a legal document, and my frantic brain could only discern the words "Bertha Mason Rochester" and the word "Deceased", dated a couple of months ago.

This was a blow. I was expecting to read Edward's feelings in the letter, not to know that the only barrier that kept us apart was demolished, and that now our love was free to continue its course.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but happy tears. I felt bad, I was happy that a person had died… that is wrong, but then I thought under the conditions she was living in, it's better this way, she can finally rest. As a smiled moved my lips and tears ran down my cheeks, I remembered Edward's words _"I'm staying in the town's Inn until tomorrow noon"_. It was almost noon and the only Inn in town was not close by.

Aware of the time I began to panic, I had to see Edward, I had to. Then I remembered… I was supposed to go to town with St. John at noon. I quickly drew out a piece paper and wrote:

_- "St. John: I went to do some errands, sorry but they are very urgent and I just remembered them last night. I will look for you when I'm done. Jane". - _

I let the note in the table so he can find it with no problem and won't be worried about me. I grabbed my shawl, and out I went.

I ran as fast and as better as I could with my weak legs, after all, I hadn't had breakfast and I didn't feel in the top of my strength. I arrived at the Inn just short minutes before noon.

I walked in, and found Mr. Fields, the Inn's keeper.

- "Hello Mr. Fields, please go tell Mr. Rochester I'm here, he's expecting me" I said in an out-of-breath voice, as the man cleaned the counter with a dirty rag.

-"Ah Miss Elliot! Yes, Mr. Rochester told me to be alert of your coming, unfortunately he left 'bout 15 minutes ago."

"What?!" I said, more to myself, but he heard me.

"I said he left Miss, that's too bad you know, he woke up before dawn, and he spent almost the entire morning sitting in the porch, looking at the road to see the people who might come in. Every time he would see the figure of a woman far away, he would stand up and walk a few steps to have a better view. Then whomever he saw wasn't the woman he was expecting, meaning, it wasn't you, he would walk back to the porch, light a cigar and keep waiting. Then, I guess he figured you wouldn't come, so he came back in, took his things, paid me, mounted his horse and left full speed… I can tell you, I never saw a man so eager to see a young lady. He must have unfinished business with you, am I correct? Miss Elliot? Are you all right?"

"Yes I'm fine… thank you." I said in a weak voice, and walked out of the place with small steps, almost like sleep-walking, while the man looked at me puzzled, but didn't venture to say another word.

I missed him. I came too late, he had departed, just like he said he would. He waited all morning for me, and when I didn't show up, his broken heart and injured pride must have made him leave a few minutes sooner than expected. I crumbled on the porch. I sat in the stairs like the beggar I once was, and began crying.

If only I had read that piece of paper last night! Or waken up earlier today! How stupid I was! He said that was the reason he came, I should have read it, and stopped him! Now it's too late, even if I go to Thornfield Hall, I'm sure I won't find him there, he must have made arrangements and will leave England too, to start a new life.

Again the force of my crying and sobs made me jump, and I didn't care I was making a public scene. My heart was destroyed, this time it was my stupidity that tore me apart from Edward, more apart than ever. He must think I read Bertha's death certificate and that I didn't care, that I resolved to go forward with my plans to marry St. John. Oh if he only would let me explain….

_"__Crying in public is not a pretty sight Miss Eyre"_ a voice said behind me. Not any voice, it was his. I turned my head, and there he was, my Edward, greeting me with a warm smile, offering me his hand to help me stand.

- "Why didn't you tell me right away?"- I said as I took his hand and tried to stand up.

He pulled me up, and we stood there face to face. He smiled sarcastically and said - "What did you want me to say? _Hello Jane, Bertha is dead now, come away with me?_".

I laughed at his reply, he was mimicking my reply I gave him last night.

His hand gently wiped away the tear stains in my cheeks, his eyes looked at my own with such love, such warmth that for a second everything stopped. "I love you Jane" and he bent down to kiss me, the sweetest, most tender kiss he had ever given me.

This time there was no resistance, nothing that could cast a cloud over this glorious moment. I in turn, placed my arms around his neck as he placed his in my waist, and for what seemed like an eternity, we stayed there, kissing in the most magical moment my life has ever experienced.

When the kiss was over, he smiled at me and said - "and kissing in public is not very classy either huh? Let's go to a more private place and talk things over Jane"- I smiled, nodded and said "I know just the place"-.

We mounted Mesrour and left in a steady pace, in silence both of us. To feel his body so close to mine, his arms around me, his hot breath next to me, in that minute I felt more alive than I have felt a whole year. I directed him to a small meadow, where I used to go sometimes to be alone with my thoughts and in contact with nature. Funny, it was in a space wide open, but it always offered a great deal of privacy from all the noisy people from town. There was an old oak tree, in complete solitude; it provided the perfect place for two lovers to renew their love vows.

We dismounted, Edward took Mesrour to walk around the meadows, not tying him. His horse was so loyal, that a simple whistle from his master would make him come down to his master full throttle.

He sat and leaned back supported by the strong tree's trunk, and gesture me to sit by him. As I did, he put his arm around me, and a strong sense of safety and belonging enveloped me. For a few minutes, both of us enjoyed comfortably the silence we shared, each one of us lost in our own thoughts of what just happened, what might have happened, and what didn't happen.

-"You know, the man in the Inn didn't lie, I actually did leave. I was going insane with insecurity, I thought you read the paper and didn't care, it was killing me. So I thought, _if she didn't come by now, a couple of minutes aren't going to make a difference_. I paid the man, took my things and off I rode. But Providence made me forget my cigar case in the night table. I went back to retrieve it through the back door, and as I left, I heard the cries of a young woman. Imagine my surprise, and how my heart stopped, when I realized it was you my fairy." - He kissed my head and I got closer to him, my head supported in his shoulder. "What took you so long, huh? Well you've always been keen to make me wait" - I could hear a teasing tone in his voice, this cheered me, he was in his high spirits again.

-"Last night when you left, I had a "crying crisis", I simply couldn't stop crying. I cried and cried, and thought I must have been a very bad person in another life, to be punished so in this one… and I was angry that just when I was about to build a fresh new life again, you walked in and destroyed everything. I forgot about the paper you gave me, I didn't even notice I put it in my pocket. I woke up very late this morning, I guess all the crying made me very tired. As I was getting ready to start the day, I reached my pocket and found your "letter", at least I thought it was. When I opened, and read it was another thing, indicating your wife had passed away, well… I was prepared for anything but that. I took my shawl and ran as fast as I could to the Inn, I remembered you told me if I wasn't there by noon you would leave and I'd never see you again. When I reached there and the owner told me you left, I felt my life ending again."-

His arm held me tighter, and again he kissed my forehead. We remained again in silence, both of us thanking God in our own ways for being good to us and helping us both reach the happiness that had been so elusive before.

- "How did you find me?" - I asked in almost a whisper.

- "You didn't prove easy to be found my love… You made sure to clean all your tracks, but then again… I'm a resourceful man, and I was determined to find you at world's end if necessary, more so when Bertha passed away. The only wall that kept us apart was demolished, I was sure that as I loved you, you loved me, and when we would meet again, all the feelings we shared would be intact. How did I find you? Well I finally found the coach driver that took you to that crossroad where your money ran out. From that point on, I began a frantic search to all the towns that were around. I found three, visited the first two and had no response, and when I found this one, and asked the blacksmith if he had seen a young lady by the name Jane Eyre, with fair skin, green eyes, brown hair, small, thin, the reply was - "_Jane Elliot you mean? Why yes, she's schoolmistress of the little girls school. She came to this town months ago as beggar, but the Rivers family took her in and now she's a valuable member of our town"_. At the word "_beggar_", a spear pierced my chest. What had I done, to drive my poor dove out of safe shelter and cast her out to the elements, alone, penniless?"-

Edward stopped speaking, I could sense a lump had formed in his throat and was fighting back tears. I twisted and took his face with both my hands and look straight into his eyes.

- "Edward don't. Please. Stop blaming yourself, what's in the past, is in the past. I didn't suffer as much as you think, "beggar" is a strong word indeed, but it lasted very little… I've lead a happy, dignified life here, as happy as it can be without you." - I kissed his lips, just a small peck, and when I saw a manly tear run down his cheek, I quickly wiped it away, and smiled at him. He smiled back, and his lips were soon on mine, kissing me with all the fire only Edward Rochester could expel. We kissed for a long moment, a fierce, strong kiss loaded with desire, passion, but most of all, love. His hands caressed my back, and my own caressed his hair.

We remained like this for a while, each one of us healing our wounds with that clear demonstration that our feelings had remained intact, that time and pain hadn't taken a toll on the way we felt.

I leaned on his shoulder again to rest, and Edward resumed: - "Well, finding you with that clue was easy, I simply asked where that school was and where the schoolmistress lived, I presented myself yesterday at your doorstep, and I'm going to be honest my love, I expected a door slammed in my face, a slap in my face, shouts, even insults, but I certainly didn't expect the welcome you gave me" - I could sense his teasing tone again, he turned to see me and he was displaying his mischievous grin I loved so much.

-"That is, because I thought I was dreaming" - was my silly reply. He laughed at that, and I said - "No seriously, if at that moment I hadn't been in that particular mood where I was taunting insanity to come take me, you would have received the welcome you were prepared for" - I replied, and we laughed together.

-"Last night's kiss was confusing I must say… first you claimed me with all the passion I know you have, then it's like you woke up and pushed me away… Confusing, but with that I knew you still loved me, you had to.."-

-"I never stopped loving you for a second Edward, be sure of that. But I tried to crush that love with all my strength. I had no idea that your state, marriage state, would change… I don't know why but Bertha passing away never, ever crossed my mind.. By the way… may I ask how it happened?"-

Edward's face darkened, his features hardened and he replied - "Well… You know how she liked to take advantage of Grace Pool's unfortunate drinking problem. One night, she sneaked out of her room, and climbed to the roof. Why? I have no idea. The servants alerted me, and I climbed up to fetch her, tried to convince her to return inside the house, but she sneered at me, gave me one last insult and jumped to her death... I think her hatred towards me made her do that."-

-"Oh my God how awful… poor woman, may God rest her soul".-

Another silence. I could sense Edward fighting his inner demons, I'm sure he felt guilt for his wife's death, he hated being married to her, but seeing her die wasn't something he particularly enjoyed. I was determined not to let him fall into a pit of bitterness, so I took his hand that was hanging on my shoulder and laced my fingers with his own. This seemed to work, as I felt he came back to me, from whatever distant place he was.

-"My darling, it's time to touch the subject of your wedding with that beau of yours… How and why it happened?" - asked Edward, not protesting, just asking, trying to tease me but underneath that tone I could sense a very serious question being asked, expecting a good, honest reply.

-"Oh My God St. John… I completely forgot about him, he must be looking for me!" - I said.

-"Do you want to return to him?"- asked he in reply, as calm as he could be.

-"No of course not, but he doesn't deserve this. I am supposed to marry him, everybody knows, in town, the girls in school, everywhere."-

-"Are you willing to continue with that commitment?"- Asked he again, less calm than before.

I turned to see him, his eyes were displaying a hint of anger again, jealousy was biting him deep in his throat.

-"No Edward, don't be ridiculous. I can't marry St. John, but he's a good, honest man, it's not fair for him that his bride is in the arms of another man right this moment. We were supposed to go shopping for an attire for him today, he must be so worried…"-

-"I can hold your hand and be by your side when you tell him the engagement is off." - said Edward, in a low voice, with a faint smile.

-"No… I must do that by myself. You know, he heard about what happened to us. News of our failed wedding and deception traveled hundred of miles away from Thornfield."-

- "Oh? Tell me about it, what did he know?" asked Edward turning his head to see my eyes, his own were full of happiness, I could see the old shine in his black eyes restored to their natural beauty.

-"He simply tied loose ends: a young governess who had fallen in love with her employer, the Master of Thornfield Hall, and he who had fallen for her. A wedding was to take place, except the man was already married and was trying to deceive the young lady into a fraud and make her his mistress. The young lady ran away, fleeing from the reach of the man, and the man going mad in his search for her. He figured I was the destitute governess, and he didn't have kind words for you and your deeds. I had to stop him, claiming he didn't know you and couldn't judge you."-

He smiled, held me tighter and said, -"When are you going to tell him Jane? For what I heard, the man wanted to marry you in days time, like you say yourself, it's not fair to leave him linger with false hopes of his bride to be and his trip to India with you by his side."-

-"I know"-, I whispered in return.

-"Well?"- He replied, he was really pushing the issue now.

-"Would you like me to leave you right now, go find him and tell him?"- Was my somewhat annoyed reply at his insistence.

He laughed, - "No my angry fairy, I could be with you like this forever. I'm just seeing one final impediment for our union, and I want it out of the picture as soon as possible. I want you only for me Jane, and I want you now. I've waited long enough, any passing minute without you being mine tortures me."-

-"Union?"- I asked teasingly. -"Who ever said about union? You haven't asked me to be your wife Edward, not since that day in Thornfield Hall, where I accepted, but now is a different time and a different situation."-

He turned his head, looked at me grave and serious, I thought he didn't understand my joke. He stood up, much to my surprise, and he walked towards where Mesrour was grazing. I thought he was going to ride away and leave me there, but he just reached one of the pockets that were loaded on the horse, took out a small box, and walked towards me again. He offered me his hand for me to stand up, I took it, and soon we were standing inches apart in front of each other. He dropped to his knee, opened the small box and showed me a gorgeous ring with a small, yet dazzling diamond in it.

-"Jane… will you marry me?"- he said in his most sincere, most serious tone I heard him utter.

I smiled, chuckled nervously and said -"Edward I was teasing you… this is not necessary... Yes of course I will marry you, I will be yours, and you will be mine until the end of times".-

His smile grew very wide, his face lighted up, it was almost like an angel had dropped a bucket of sunrays in his face. He took my left hand, and placed the small ring in my finger. With that, he stood up, embraced me, and said - "I love you Jane Eyre… soon to be Jane Rochester, this time forever".-

He kissed me, softly at first, then harder, pinned me between him and the tree. Our passions were rising, his hands were all over me, my shoulder, my waist, my hips… My hands simply pulling him hard against me, caressing his strong back… I could feel his whole body tense, specially the center of his hips… that indicated me he wouldn't stop on his own accord, he had to be stopped. It took all my physical and mental strength to stop him from taking me right then and there. As I tried to break the kiss, he groaned and dropped his head to kiss my neck.

I giggled and pulled my face away. "I'm not your wife yet Edward, so let me remind you I will keep you at arm's length until the Parson has pronounced us man and wife" I teased.

His face was flushed, his breath elaborated. He smiled, stepped back, and as he moved, I saw the figure of a man standing yards away. I became pale, my blood pressure must have dropped to the very limit, and a gasp came out of my mouth that made Edward frown instantly. He turned around to see what has startled me so much, and then we both saw a young, handsome man standing there, the same man that had visited me in my cottage last night.

St. John was there, seeing his bride in the arms of another man.


End file.
